After several months in a carefully constructed wit-sec program and speaking from a secret location, the bat responsible for starting coronavirus has finally come forward to set the record straight. He regrets how it began but maintains it was just, 'a cheeky nip!' "I...
Houseplants, vinyl records, and ‘spittin’ on it’. What do these things have in common? According to Jackson Smith they are all making a comeback in 2020. We interviewed Mr. Smith and his mother, Bethany, at a Stay-At-Home protest in Columbus, OH. "Listen, y’all....
Shortly after American governors began announcing social distancing relaxations, a leaked tape surfaced, showing a tired-looking Mother Earth removing her glasses and rubbing the area between her eyes for close to a minute before letting out a deep sigh and saying...
Comedians everywhere are throwing their hands up in the air, unable to top the level of comic brilliance coming from the White House. As such, all comedy specials on Netflix have been taken down. A spokesperson for the streaming service has stated, "Our viewers want...
WorkAbility is developing and sponsoring a FREE Virtual Small Business SOS Series that will be hosted over the coming months. In order to ensure that the workshop is useful and relevant, we are holding an exploratory event on the 22nd of April. The discussion will be...
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PALM BEACH, FL - The CDC recommends maintaining a minimum of 6 feet away from all people during the current coronavirus outbreak. The spray tan industry, in particular, has taken a major hit due to the government's social distancing mandates. That may all be about to...
"Do I look like a teacher to you?", quipped one fed up mom while pouring herself another gin. "No. And there's a reason why I dropped out before I had to take this stupid stuff, anyways."
HIGHLANDS RANCH, CO - Karen Peabody, vintage dollhouse appraiser and self-proclaimed ‘anti-vaxxer’ has given the CDC a one-star rating on Yelp. “This is absolute bullshit. Literally all of my Pilates classes have been cancelled!”’ an enraged Peabody wrote in the...
LANSING, MI -- Brenda Roberts has been daydreaming about which body part of her boyfriend, Rick Rothschild she will eat first if the couple runs out of food as a statewide lockdown continues. While they’ve still been getting along “reasonably well”, more and more...