Last week, former coworking titan and mating ground for cross-body messenger bags, WeWork, announced that it would be phasing out its most popular amenity across its North American locations – free beer and wine. As part of a change in corporate governance, thirsty Colorado WeWorkers can now expect to enjoy the nation’s former favorite nuclear-orange beverage, Sunny D, served in mason jars in all locations along the Front Range.
The preferred beverage of every prepubescent boy in the ‘90s, originally known as Sunny Delight, will be ‘delighting’ terrarium enthusiasts from Boulder to LoDo in a matter of weeks.
“While we’re no longer in a position to provide alcohol to lubricate social interactions about carbon-free kale wraps, we’re still committed to providing a quality beverage”, said WeWork’s Regional Director of Beverages, Luke Rothschild.
Rothschild stressed that not only will the change keep WeWork members around, it will help their bottom line. “Even though Sunny D was widely phased out of the general public consciousness years ago, we believe that its remarkably low popularity and price point will engage our members on an ironic level.”
Findings from an independent survey conducted at the Center for Studies in Colorado Springs concluded, “It’s orange”.
The company plans to bring the D to Colorado first and see how it goes, before expanding to other markets. We asked Rothschild, “Why Colorado?”. “Because Colorado’s sunny as fuck.”
When asked for comment, local WeWork member Carson Montgomery said, “I’ve never been inside a WeWork.”
A WeWork spokesperson confirmed it also considered going with Kool-Aid but ultimately decided against it for “branding reasons”.